Feline Friday took some vacation time the last couple of weeks. The stars are thirteen and fourteen years old, which is like, 80 in cat years. I try not to dwell on it too much. They don’t have many stories to relate these days as most days are spent sleeping and evenings are often spent watching TV with me. They do, however, sleep in my office with me, so they get a decent dose of news when I’m procrastinating. And they have thoughts about what they see and hear.
I am an evolved cat.
Unlike my ‘sister’ (she’s not my sister, she’s a cat I am forced to share my house with) I do not worship my humans. I do not worship humans at all. In fact, I find them quite insufferable.
The female has been grumbling about a decision in a place called “Indiana”. She angrily pointed at the computer and asked me in the middle of my nap “What the…? I don’t…! How is that…? What year is this?!?! Bah!” Not that she is usually capable of much more than a few disjointed words at one time anyway. This time there was a bit of seething anger under her crazed mutterings.
Humans are silly. Why does it matter that someone else is loving another person? What does it matter if two male humans love each other? Or two female humans? I sleep with my ‘sister’ all the time. I don’t love her, but… meh, she’s warm and purrs me to sleep.
I haven’t read this thing the female calls ‘The Bible’. She keeps a copy of it on her shelf. An old copy. The pages are falling out. It’s probably about 100, like the female human (I’m not 100, Inky!!) but it seems a lot of humans do a lot of heinous things in the name of the stuff it’s about. Like going to war and telling people who they’re allowed to love.
While I love nothing more than myself – come on, let’s be honest here, I’m a cat – it seems wrong to me that humans feel they have a right to dictate something like that to other humans. Beyond dictating when it is time to feed me, pet me, or clean my litter box, I don’t command other living things. Okay, okay, I command Ember to get out of my basket. Or, really, I just sit on her until she moves.
I can’t seem to repeat this enough – how does it affect anyone else if I were to choose to live with another (formerly) female cat? If I loved her – how does it possibly matter to my neighbor? Whether or not that is wrong appears to me to be a matter of opinion and nothing else. It’s not as if we’d be doing any kind of damage to anyone else whatsoever. Just because it would be an “abomination” in your eyes according to a book, doesn’t mean it actually is. (Seriously, I think salad is an abomination, yet the female human loves it. Especially with carrots.)
I hear the sputtering. “But what about murder! According to the Bible, that’s wrong!” Well, according to basic feline decency that’s wrong. I don’t need a book or religion to tell me that murder is wrong. I’m a smart kitty that way. Murder has a bad effect on another thing’s life – murder causes death.
But two living things, living together and having a relationship that involves love? If you can explain to me, in real, tangible terms, how that negatively affects anyone else – I’ll let you bend one of my exceedingly beautiful ears about it.
Edit: Since I poked this post out, it seems there has been a change in Indiana. The female said something about ‘anti-discrimination’. I’m not well versed on what, exactly the change was or how it really affects anything, but hopefully it’s a step in the right direction.