Tag Archives: food

Feline Friday: Chemicals, Schmemicals

Inkblot and Ember eat a steady diet of Royal Canin Renal support dry kibble. The husband and I don’t go out a lot. We don’t spend our money on much else, so the kitties get the best food we know of – which was prescribed by our veterinarian after Inky had a particularly nasty kidney infection. I guess that goes to show one can sell me just about anything after my cat gets sick.

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Inkblot has no appreciation for internet nonsense.

The female was upset – again – by the internet.

This is a common occurrence. If she didn’t order toys and treats for us from the magical land of “Amazon,” I would recommend she stay away.

This week she stumbled across an article discussing food. Human food. Personally, I find the stuff revolting. How can they even think about eating a different thing at every meal? I like my dry kibble. It is all I will eat. Ember, of course, is a feline trash can. She eats “tuna” and “marshmallows” and “carpet bits”.

Well, I could admit to the occasional chewing of sisal from our cat tree – but that is all. And the human female always yells at me when she catches me doing it, then hacks at it with scissors until all the tempting dangly bits are gone. Sigh.

No. Wait. I also eat expensive cables and power cords. My favorite is anything from Apple. The female says I have “Cadillac” tastes.

Here’s the thing about this article she read – and this is coming from a cat with a street quality education – humans should realize that all things they refer to as “food” are made up of “chemicals.” Try to pronounce every item on the following list: Alpha-Lineolic-Acid, Asparagine, D-Categin, Isoqurctrin, Phosphatidyl-Choline, P-Hydroxy-Benzoic-Acid, Pantothenic Acid, Phenylalanine, Glutamic Acid, Fructose, Sucrose, and Silver. Now, tell me if those ingredients would prevent you from eating an… apple! That’s right. Your friendly, harmless looking neighborhood apple is actually a chemical bomb.

Try this one: Aspartic Acid, Arginine, Isoleucine, Methionine, Pentadecanoic Acid, Glucose, Sucralose, Fructose, Lactose, Maltose, Galactose*, Phenylacetaldehyde, Acetaldehyde, Formaldehyde, Acetone, Benzene. The chemicals listed here are just a few of the items in an egg. From a chicken. *I always knew chickens were from another planet. It’s the feathers and the clucking.

So, what am I trying to say here? Just eat. Maybe my humans could cut down on the bright orange cheese powder – THAT doesn’t seem natural – but otherwise, eat some fruit. Eat some vegetables. And eat whatever else you want. Food doesn’t make you fat. An excess of calories make you fat. I’m a cat and I know this. Maybe next week I’ll talk about the charge that sugar is killing us… Well, no. I’ll just do it now. Yes. Sugar will kill you if you have something called Diabetes. It will also kill you if you dump a five pound bag of it down your throat all at once – or since I’m a cat – it will kill me if that five pound bag falls out of the pantry and onto my head.

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Mah-caroni – Writing 101

Excuses, excuses. Yes, I didn’t write this post on Friday. I wrote it on Saturday. My best friend is over from the UK and I’m cramming in every spare moment with her before she goes back.  It is now 11:40 pm on a Saturday and I’m writing about food… The assignment is to write about a favorite childhood meal.

Damn, if there is one thing I miss from childhood it is a decent dish of baked macaroni. I don’t mean that neon orange ick from the box. I didn’t even know that existed until I went away to school when I was fourteen.

No, no over processed red dye #48 here, just macaroni, bechamel sauce and cheese. Lots of cheese.

Baked macaroni and cheese was the thing my Dad made. It was my favorite. I have been unable to replicate it in my own kitchen.

I suppose it is appropriate with Father’s Day being right around the corner that I remember that baked macaroni and cheese. Don’t get me wrong, there were things my Mom made that I loved, too – probably something in the realm of Spaghetti and meatballs- but I remember the baked macaroni as something specifically ‘Dad’.

You layer the macaroni with the cheese and the bechamel sauce until you’ve filled the dish – or run out of macaroni – and then you bake it in the oven until there is a delicious, caramelized layer of cheese on top. Then you try to wait until it is slightly below the temperature of ‘really, really hot’. I usually couldn’t wait. Baked macaroni and cheese was invariably followed by a burned tongue, but it always seemed worth it.